I am sitting here at 1:45am thinking about my day and the movie I just watched. The movie, "The Passion of the Christ," is one that I have seen several times, but never alone (my family is sleeping at the moment). Some of you may be asking, "why in the world would you watch that again?" It's simple...I needed perspective. You see, this week (well, this past year, actually) has been busy for me and I have lost sight of what is truly important. Today is a good example. Due to allergies and a few other pains I didn't sleep well last night. This led to me being more tired than usual and therefore a little "off my game". I spent my day dealing with life issues...running errands, breaking up fights, schooling, cleaning, etc. This evening was spent at rehearsal with the Worship team from The Point preparing for Sunday. And not just any Sunday...Easter Sunday. We practiced songs and I went right along with it, but my heart wasn't in it. I was thinking about the pain in my lower back, my headache, what I have to do tomorrow, and what I should have done today, rather than focusing on the words that were coming out of my mouth and what they meant.
I write this all to say that I am a fool! As I watched this movie I remembered my bodily pains from earlier. It is just now that I realize I don't feel much of anything at the moment nor did I feel anything while watching the movie. Is it true that I cannot stand up for 2 hours and sing praises to my Lord and King without letting my mind wander to my cares and troubles? Did I honestly not let the words sink in to my heart? Was I too blind to see how each time I open my mouth to lift my voice it is only by the grace of God that I am even able to do it? How dare I think for one second about myself when my Savior endured so much on my behalf? I sit in my comfortable home and read God's Word and yet I miss the point. I'M AWFUL!!!!! ROTTEN!!!! FOUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
With each lash to His body, with each thorn pushed into His brow, and with every drop of His blood, Jesus took my punishment. I know myself. I know my body. I wouldn't last an hour at the hands of someone who despises me. From the human perspective I don't know how Jesus was able to stand it all. I don't know how Mary was able to stand by and watch her son being beaten and killed. I don't know how the disciples endured the sight of their friend and master being tortured. But from the perspective of a believer I do know...it was all God's plan. From the very beginning God knew the exact date, time and process by which His people would be saved. Jesus. Beaten. Bruised. Crucified. Risen.
Because I am awful, rotten, and foul, Jesus had to die on the cross. My sin put him there. I can't do anything to save myself. I cannot be good enough. I cannot give enough. I cannot be enough. But God. God is enough. Jesus had to give his life! What do I have? Crappy furniture, a 7 year old car, cheap clothes, and a horribly out of shape body. In other words...nothing. But I surrender my life to my Lord. And each day I must wake up and know that I am a new creation because one day, thousands of years ago, the Son of God died for my sin.
Now I ask you. It is Good Friday...what are you doing?
